Discovering the Issue

I never set out to discover complementarian vs. egalitarian theology. No one introduced me to it. In 2019, I stumbled across an aside explanation for why we have been misinterpreting a passage that appears to prohibit women. I realized that the passage had always seemed odd to me but I had never looked into it, just accepted the inadequate explanation I’d been told and didn’t feel comfortable questioning it. For the first time in my life, in my early fifties, I had an explanation which made sense of the oddities in those two verses. I began to wonder, “If we’ve done that misinterpretation with this passage, what about the others?”

Thus began a journey delving into every passage purported to either prohibit or permit the spiritual activities of women. I kept discovering more. I had no idea there were so many because I hadn’t really looked before. It’s similar to when you buy a particular car and then start seeing them everywhere. Then there’s all the adjacent theological issues—again, I had not fully considered how they were interrelated. A pattern emerged regarding who takes which positions on these adjacent issues.

Discovering the Obstacles

Translation

I realized that I didn’t have the ability to accurately assess everything I was reading by others. So, I enrolled in seminary and the first class I took was hermeneutics where (among other things) I learned about the challenges of translation and all the decisions that translators make. I learned that I’d held a very idealistic impression of translation. People say “This version is more of a word-for-word translation and that is more of a thought-for-thought.” A word-for-word translation would be unintelligible and useless. There really is no such thing. Translators have to discern what the author meant and what the audience understood and try to communicate the same thing in the target language. They make MANY subjective decisions!

Therefore, it’s impossible to translate without also lending to interpretation. Translators bring their own bias (just like all of us who read bring our own bias based on many personal factors). Remember, we believe that the Word of God is inerrant in the original languages, not all the translated languages. Therefore, it’s good to check up on the translator and find out why they chose particular English words to represent the original language words, and if they were consistent with their decisions. For example, is it consistent or is it misleading to translate diakonos to “servant” when it relates to a woman, but then translate diaknonos to “deacon” when it relates to a man?

We believe that the Word of God is inerrant in the original languages, not all the translated languages.

Interpretation

Then there’s the Wild West of interpretation which includes some really flawed tendencies. Just because someone is a prolific author or well-known teacher does not mean we can trust them at all times with every topic. Someone can do a great job teaching on one subject but poorly on another. No one can be an expert in every area, but we revere people as if they can be. The majority of seminary-trained pastors have never considered complementarian vs. egalitarian theology. I have it from a good source that the topic, if addressed at all, is treated very dismissively and in passing, as if so thoroughly settled, it’s not worth even one class lecture unless it is completely one-sided. And yet it greatly affects at least half of the congregation and how the church operates!

Just one example of a flawed interpretation tendency is to make an extreme extrapolation from one passage and completely ignore another passage with the opposite possible interpretation. For example, the word diakonos is not used anywhere in the book of Acts. However, people interpret the events in Acts 6 where seven men were chosen for a task, as being the first and only authoritative example for choosing deacons. Therefore, for all time, only men can be deacons. This is an extreme extrapolation and again ignores a specific woman called a deacon in Romans 16:1.

So, while writing, the mantra became, “Question everything, then question it again, and again.” One of my mentors questioned absolutely everything I wrote to where I couldn’t rely on any previous knowledge. It was at the same time, annoying and refreshing.

Volume of Material

During my six-year writing and research journey, I felt like Lewis and Clarke, who, every time they ascended a mountain peak, expected to see the ocean on the other side of the mountain, but they only saw more mountains. Every issue I looked into just showed me more issues, and the task seemed impossible. I considered narrowing the focus several times, but they are all too interdependent. I considered writing four shorter books instead of one larger book with four parts. But I knew people would be resistant due to having a proof text in their mind from somewhere else in the Bible so it all needed to be together.

I was often overwhelmed with too much information. I gathered and organized and wrote far more than what I could use in a book but I needed to do the necessary work for my own understanding and then choose later what to cut.

Language Expertise

The language aspects were far over my head so I needed a language expert for regular consultation. No amount of seminary classes would give me adequate expertise without the decades of experience other people already have. One person after another said they’d look at a portion but didn’t have time to look at everything, so I took all the help I could get, but it wasn’t enough.

There was one expert in particular that I wanted who was especially familiar with all my passages. I prayed specifically for that person and wrote a few times. I finally received the answer, “I’ve been asked to help many people and I look at their manuscript and think, ‘No, this does not have good potential.’ But yours does, so I will help you.” I will never forget the day their help came, because I couldn’t have done it without.

This person does not want to be flooded with requests, so will remain nameless, but they have the patience of a saint. Every macron, every nuance—sometimes an hour discussion about one word, for months. It was especially gratifying to eventually discover and point out a few things this person hadn’t previously considered so there was some mutual benefit.

Time Constraints

In order to find time to attend seminary and write, I left my job and made my primary occupation an Airbnb Superhost. I made many luxury sacrifices. Every time I wanted to watch TV or do something fun or relaxing that would inhibit progress, I told myself, “You gave that up when you made the decision to do this.” I listened to helpful material whenever I cleaned units, did house or yard work, or drove, making audio notes. It’s easy to understand why many people want to write a book and just can’t complete it.

Ambiguity

There was much that had to be examined and then set back on the table unresolved for a later revisit. I wasn’t sure what conclusion I’d end up with after all my study, but I needed to work through it for me. A few times I thought I ran into the wall which tipped the scales toward the restrictive view. I couldn’t imagine there could be any refutation for the issue I encountered. Then I would be surprised to discover an excellent refutation. We don’t know what we don’t know, so it was truly necessary to leave no stone unturned.

It would be so much more pleasant to write a book where one already knows the conclusion and can write a solid, clean outline before starting. My discoveries and changing views required me to re-write everything, no telling how many times. I would re-read something I wrote 6-12 months ago and discover inconsistencies due to slight position changes.

Then the wildest thing began to happen. Big theology dots connected. Everything I was discovering came together to paint a consistent picture of God that caused the whole Bible to fit together in a united theme of God’s heart. This theme had been obscured by the emphasis of other, inconsistent teachings. This discovery was exciting and deepened my walk with God. Sadly, dots also connected related to consistent patterns of people using misleading tactics to tip the scales toward the restrictive view.

Doubts

Sometimes I’d be overcome with doubt and accuse myself of being crazy to think I could do this. Then, I would remember that we should attempt things that can only be achieved if God is in it, that way we know for sure it wasn’t our own accomplishment. I had many conversations with God about that. Countless times, I received a specific, helpful, timely revelation from a very random-seeming source that could not be a coincidence. Then, I needed beta readers, proof readers, a publisher, and other technical assistance that materialized from unlikely sources. Every time I had a need, God provided.

After I finished the book, someone told me I accomplished this because I am strong-willed and self-willed. I know better, because only God and I know how difficult and impossible this was without him. I want to give this testimony and praise him for carrying me through.

Sometimes I felt like the extremely hard work might not be worth it and perhaps I should be doing something else with my life. I would ask God if I should continue, and without fail, within 24 hours, I would find myself talking to someone with a story that showed me it was important to press on. Many women have lost their faith over this issue because there are passages that seem harsh or contradictory without good context and interpretation.

I was also filled with anxiety over what others would think. God showed me that I had an idol in my heart to care more about what others think than what he thinks. Dealing with that idol gave me peace. I also know from history that many people made far greater sacrifices so others could have the truth of God’s Word available to them, so I have it easy if I only have some criticism. Because reassurances from God happened so many times, it was clear that stopping would be disobedient. Through this, my trust walk has grown tremendously.

Another saying I thought of often is that we want to look and see what God is doing and then join him in that. There are a number of reforming movements within the church at large right now that I believe dovetail with this issue.

We want to see how God is working and join him in that.

I found more and more people who have also discovered truth on this topic and written about it, so I thought perhaps it unnecessary that I do it also. God showed me five things to answer that concern:

1. Each of us has a unique point of view or method for communicating a message which will reach some who wouldn’t otherwise pay attention to someone else’s POV or method.

2. Everyone who writes on this topic learns about it well enough to also speak on it. We all have our own circle of influence where our book and speaking would reach people whom others wouldn’t reach. Every possible voice is needed when educating others about an entrenched ideology that needs to be dislodged.

3. Wrestling with these issues develops my relationship with God in ways that wouldn’t otherwise reach my heart, so it’s good for my spiritual walk regardless of what others are doing.

4. Scripture was used as a weapon to harm me. Writing about these issues has been a source of healing for deep wounds that I needed to address with God and Scripture.

5. My childhood experiences, my young adult experiences, my homeschooling experience, my marriage, ministry, and job experiences – all of them have culminated in writing a book that I couldn’t have otherwise written. None of my experiences have been wasted. As I offer my pain to God for him to use to accomplish his purposes, God has turned it into something good. Romans 8:28 isn’t automatic. It is a cooperative process.

This article is just a glimpse of my writing journey into complementarian vs. egalitarian theology, but I pray that God will use my sharing about it to encourage others in some way.